Flash back 14 months ago....

Last night, I was telling the story about when I gave birth to Lola and I realized that some details were starting to get fuzzy. I want to write them down so I don't forget and I can go back and read it later! And I also hope that things go differently next time, however, I understand I'm not completely in control and I'm okay with that.

I planned to work right up to the day I gave birth. I did decide to not really schedule any meetings after 38 weeks, just in case I had to leave the office suddenly. So you can imagine how bored I was at work between weeks 38 and 40! In all honestly, I had plenty to do, I just didn't feel like doing it. So on Friday, January 23rd (39 weeks, 4 days), I was sitting at my desk and I didn't feel all that great. I wanted to go home and lay down, but I had a dentist appointment at 3pm that day and I didn't want to miss it...so I waited. Before I left, my administrative assistant, Becky, took one look at me and said I was going to have my baby that weekend. I told her she was crazy. Ha! So I went to the dentist at 3pm and I was having some contractions at that point. Not horrible, but uncomforatable. I went home and laid down to see if the contractions stopped, but they didn't. They weren't too close together though and they weren't too intense.

At around 3am, I woke up suddenly because I thought I wet the bed. It was a weird feeling of losing control. I went to the bathroom and actually had a full bladder, so it was then that I thought maybe my water broke! I woke Ryan up (took me 4 tries) and told him I think my water broke. We turned on the lights and there was a huge wet spot in the bed. We just sat there trying to figure out if it was urine or fluid...it was pretty funny. Gross, but we had to smell it. It didn't smell like urine so we assumed it was fluid. I wasn't having contractions though, so I knew we didn't have to go in right away. I had the bright idea of suggesting we try and go back to sleep for a little bit. Ryan fell right asleep, but I was wide awake (and also laying halfway in a wet spot). Finally I got up around 4:30 and took a shower. Ryan got up and did the same, and then I called the doctor. I think we left for the hospital around 6am. I didn't want to call my parents just in case they sent me home.

We got to the hospital, and after what seemed like forever, they determined my water did break and I was admitted. I was still barely 1cm dilated though (which I had been for 3+ weeks), and I wasn't having bad contractions. They got me to a room and I called my parents. I told them to take their time, as it looked like i would labor all day and possibly into the next day. The midwife told me it would probably be a long day. They decided to give me pitocin to get my contractions going stronger and more consistent. I remember laying there when she started the pitocin drip. I looked at the clock and it was 9:10am, then the pitocin entered my system I had a HUGE contraction. I looked over at Ryan and said, 'great, this is going to be a long painful day'. He looked at me like 'great, can't wait!'. Then all the sudden, people were running in the room. They were telling me to roll to one side, and then the other. More people ran in. The nurses called for the midwife, she came in, looked at the machines, and told them to call the doctor for a possible C-Section. Ryan and I were totally confused. They told me my baby's heart rate had plummited to around 50 beats/minute. They had me roll on my hands and knees, trying to get the baby to move, to hopefully get the heartrate back up. More people came in, and someone yelled to prep the OR. They told me they needed to get the baby out right away. I'm not sure how to explain how I felt while all of this was going on. I felt oddly calm, like I knew everything was going to be fine. I somehow knew I needed to stay calm and quiet, because I needed to listen to what they were asking me to do (roll over right, roll over left, roll to your hands and knees). I was totally focused on what they were saying to me. Before I rolled onto my hands and knees, they checked me again and i was 3cm. I went from 1cm to 3cm in one contraction!

They wheeled me into the OR while I was still on my hands and knees. That was weird, I was afraid my butt was hanging out for all to see! While they were wheeling me down the hall, they told me that if they could get the heartrate up to around 90, they would take the extra minute to give me a spinal. If not, they would have to tube me and knock me out to take the baby out. That freaked me out a bit because I wanted to be awake. Ryan managed to call my parents around that time and told them to hurry now because they were going to do a C-Section. I think my poor mom probably had a heart attack. The heartrate got back up to just 90 by the time we got in the OR and they sat me up and gave me a spinal instead of knocking me out. No sooner had I laid back down, the doctor walked in and cut me open. It literally happend that fast! They gave me the pitocin at 9:10am, and Lola was born at 9:25am on Saturday, January 24th, 2 days before her due date.

I found out a few weeks later what they thought happened, after they had a meeting to discuss. When they gave me the pitocin and I had that hard contraction, I went from 1cm to 3cm and they think Lola dropped down in my pelvis. When they took her out of me, the cord was around her neck and over her head. So when she dropped, she compressed the cord with the top of her head. Even me moving around couldn't get the cord uncompressed enough to get her heartrate back up.

I had a hard time with how everything happened. That was not how I envisioned giving birth. I thought the recovery process was bad, I didn't enjoy being cut open. I couldn't work out for 6 weeks, and it took me until around 6 months postpartum to feel normal again (like where I could do situps without hurting). I immediately started doing research on what my options were next time. I will not schedule a C-Section again unless it's absolutely necessary! I ended up switching doctors and my new doctor is very supportive of what's called a VBAC (vaginal birth after cecerian). I know I can't control everything, but I really and truly hope that next time I can see my child being born and hold him or her on my lap right after delivery, instead of looking at a sheet in front of my face in an operating room!